As many students know, Freshman Seminar and Freshman Experience classes are a requirement for graduation.  However, the option for freshman seminars can be somewhat limiting.

After receiving multiple complaints, clowns were hired specifically to circle their fingers around the general vicinity of the faces of Provost Welsh, Associate Provosts and President Scott, while repeating “I‘m not touching you."  Due to the continuous pestering from the clowns, Adelphi finally chose someone to create a new course that had his finger on the pulse of today‘s youth. Much to the surprise of the student body, staff, and faculty members, a familiar face around Adelphi accepted the challenge.

Adam Boum has been a full-time student at Adelphi since 2000. While for some that may seem excessive, Boum says that he has’t been able to tear himself away. An education major, he has been a part of Adelphi’s culture for seven years. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” he says of his long tenure.

A few credits short of his master’s degree, Boum has taken a somewhat lax approach to completing his college career. “I just really like it here,” he explains. “I don’t know why everyone has to rush around trying to complete things. Why be so final? I’ve never officially broken up with a woman in my entire life. I never quit a job. I just stopped going to my Hebrew lessons, so I never got my bat mitzvah. Did that stop me from becoming a man? No. Like Prince said, ‘Life is just a party and parties weren’t meant to last.’ I want to show kids how to enjoy the party.”

Boum is taking that Prince-inspired philosophy and applying it to the new course he’s teaching, entitled: “Plight of the Pupil.” The course examines and teaches students to solve the various difficulties inherent in starting college.

Boum explains, “Check it. These kids come in and they’re scared. They don’t know how to adapt to college life. That’s where I come in. Nobody teaches the kids how to go to a party, write a paper in an hour and get a ‘B’ on it. These are valuable skills. The name of the class is ‘Plight of the Pupil’ for a reason. I’m helping them solve the unfortunate condition they come to me with."

Boum also hopes to get some guest speakers into the class. “I met Tara Reid in Ibiza. Now you know she can teach these kids a thing or two,” says Boum. He also plans on giving some valuable studying tips. According to Boum, “Why waste time reading when you can skim? Your eyes still go over all the same words!”

The course requires only one 250-word response paper, which is the final. The night before, the students are assigned to stay up all night at a party thrown by Boum who prefers the “hands on” method of teaching. Included on the syllabus are “A Guitar Hero Ain’t Nothin’ But a Sandwich,” which teaches the kids how to play guitar hero at the most difficult level; “ Beer Pong for Beginners” designed to introduce the students to the drinking game with a chocolate milk substitute for alcohol; and various role-playing scenarios that are applicable to real life. Says Boum, “In one scenario, a girl will find her boyfriend cheating on her with a skank. In another, dudes are going to hit on the same woman. I’m also going to teach them how to break up with someone in such a way that the relationship is not really over, but you don’t have to see them again.”

Incoming freshman also seem excited about the course. Says LeetNoob1001 on the freshman message boards, “I’m excited about the course.”

Although some say the class is a “fluff” course, Boum takes this opportunity seriously. “I’ve been here forever. I know what these kids are going through and I can teach them everything I’ve learned. I’m their mentor. I’m like the Dumbledore to their scarred orphaned child.”

The course is on a trial run now, but if all goes well, it will be formally adopted as a recurring freshman seminar. Boum says “I want this to work. I can really help these kids. Game on.”